Since the pandemic started, it’s been full of ups and downs. I’m sure it has been the same for everyone. In the beginning, when everything started shutting down, it was a little scary, especially with people panic buying. I was worried for my little family of five and wanted to be sure we would be okay. In a way, I was thankful to be home with my children as it gave me a chance to soak up extra snuggles. I was excited to play outside with them, blow bubbles, and color with sidewalk chalk.
Then, all of a sudden, the two week shut down turned into three weeks, then four, and so on. I was a little nervous about what my work place would be like upon my return. I work in pediatric dentistry. I worried about my patients and, of course, myself and the new precautions I’d need to take to protect the patients, myself, and my family. With no reopening date in sight and police brutality all over the news ... times started to feel uncertain. Riots started happening and my anxiety really started to kick in. There was just so much happening at once.
I am progun, but haven’t personally owned a gun since I had my children. I grew up around guns, and felt it was time for my family to have some extra protection. I went out and bought myself a handgun for home protection. My husband was very nervous about it, but supported my decision. I found myself becoming paranoid of the world around me. I was completely out of my comfort zone and didn’t feel safe. My anxiety started to get so bad that I wasn’t sleeping well. At this point, I wasn’t even worried about going back to work. I was so focused on my family and my home.
Then, the wild fires started here in California and the smoke was unbearable. My eyes burned and evacuation warnings were so close to us. We had our bags packed in case we needed to flee. So much fear, uncertainty and anxiety over so much in just a short time.
I felt my anxiety was starting to get the best of me. Normally, I would just hit the gym or go for a good run, but the gyms were closed. After much thought, I decided to reach out to my doctor. She acknowledged my anxiety and fears. She recommended I start a low dose of medication to help ease the anxiety. She also recommended a great seven minute work out app which, honestly, has been such a great help.
I know Covid has been difficult for us all in different ways. I now realize I am blessed to have a roof over my head, food on the table and children that are happy and healthy. Distance learning is going well for my oldest son. His teacher really goes out of her way to keep her class engaged.
I am back at work and taking the the necessary precautions. I am healthy, my coworkers are healthy, and so are my patients. I am thankful for some normalcy in my life; however, I do miss eating in a restaurant. I miss going to the movies. I miss being able to attend concerts. Most of all, I miss being able to see people’s faces.
Not sure when this whole Covid thing will blow over and I’m curious if things will ever go back to what they once were. What I do know is, by realizing we are not alone in this, it can help others get through some of the tough times. Reaching out and asking for support from others is the best gift we can give ourselves & each other.